Monday, April 23, 2012

One Supported Step At a Time...

"Perseverance is not a long race. It is many short races one after another." - W. Elliot

The quote says it all. Every. Single. Day. is a short race. And then another the next day. And again the day after that. Some days have multiple races.
There was a time in my life, not very long ago, where I'd wake up in the morning and convince myself to go to the gym.
Now, I wake up and convince myself to take my sweet daughter to physical therapy and occupational therapy, where I will be reminded (again) of what she's not yet capable of. Of how much work we still have ahead of us. 
I wake up and convince myself that going to therapy is better for her than going to the park and swinging, or staying home and snuggling on a rainy day. 
I wish for someone to convince me that it's not a necessary evil.
This never happens.
I fight this battle every day. I hate taking my daughter to therapy. I hate doing therapy at home. I hate that when other toddlers are playing, she is being twisted and stretched and forced to move in ways that are unnatural to her. 
I struggle with these obligations. I  consider "taking a break" and fight the guilt that consumes me wondering if that would be detrimental to her progress. 
And then... she has a day that is beautiful. She goes to therapy, and smiles the whole time. She actively participates, and never cries or protests. She WORKS SO HARD! And all to take some steps in a device that is holding her up. Terrible? Or beautiful? 
Both.

And then I realize... it's worth it. She'll be okay. I'll be okay too.

"I am a parent of a child with special needs. My life isn't glamorous and it is full of hard work everyday. I go weeks before I realize I need a break. But in the end, the gifts of joy I receive with just an inch of progress - are quite extraordinary and in these moments I know we can do anything." HOPELights♥